@Arrogant_Twat

1 year ago today, the world ended. RIP everyone.

You Might Also Like

@CeruleanGates

The bad news is, I accidentally took the wrong medications this morning

The good news: Guess who is now protected from fleas and heartworms for the next 3 months?

@KateWhineHall

[Dragging 3 whining kids through mall] No thank you, mall kiosk employee, I’m not interested in trying “something amazing for my hair.”

@inmynewskin

MY PARENTS ARE OUT OF TOWN SO I CAN FINALLY WINK AT THE CAT AS MUCH AS I WANT

@barryjohnharper

I wonder if Batman ever saw the Batsignal and thought ‘I’ve literally just sat down.”

@TheAndrewNadeau

Air Bud but from the perspective of a kid on the losing team that has to explain to his overbearing father he lost to a dog.

@krissywillbretz

*calls psychic hotline*
Psychic: how can I help you?
Me: well this is bullshit.

@CafeinatedBacon

Hey! This is your home!
It’s kinda messy… but you’ll get use to that!

-my 6yo, welcoming his new baby sister πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ’€

@robfee

Lois Lane unexpectedly comes to visit Clark Kent but he can’t find his glasses so he has to stick his face in a pie like Mrs. Doubtfire.

@sug_knight

Me: while you’re up there let’s do a Spider-Man kiss
My dental hygienist: still no