@DamienFahey

13 Types of Regret You’ll Experience After Clicking on a Link to an Article That Won’t Live Up to its Exaggerated Headline

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@reallifemommy3

I told my husband that our toddler won’t eat tomatoes and he asked why not, as if toddlers are normal human beings

@juicymorsel

Pretending you’re dead to avoid conversation in the hospital is the worst way to learn how a defibrillator works.

@DiaryofaSickGrl

We need a new term for “avoid it like the plague” because apparently people don’t do that

@trevso_electric

“Aww. You guys… And it’s not even my real birthday! #flattered .”
-Jesus

@hipchkk

If I ever tell you to “Be the ball,” I’m not coaching you…I’m preparing you for my nine iron.

@Baileymoon15

jerry would invest in crypto but gain nothing

george would invest and lose everything

kramer would become a billionaire

elaine would call them all stupid until she starts dating a crypto guy

@ramblinma

My life is a constant battle between wanting to correct grammar and wanting to have friends.

@THEDUTHCHESS

My ex husbands Voicemail was a trick one where he’d say “Hello Hello, so you think he’d answered and that’s why he’s dead.

@LeahsLounge

I think having a highway to Hell and only a stairway to Heaven says a lot about anticipated traffic numbers.