@HuffPostComedy

14 Valentine’s Day jokes that laugh in the face of Cupid

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@sweetmomissa

Took the kids to the store yesterday to pick out their own Valentine’s gifts, so don’t tell me I’m not preparing them for marriage.

@maughammom

Judging by all the cracking and popping noises my body makes when I work out, I’d say I’m about 74% Rice Krispies.

@WilliamAder

No one takes their job more seriously than the guy that glues down the start of the toilet paper roll.

@TopherKearby

[Google Search History]
1. Do raccoons like to cuddle?
2. What does rabies smell like?
3. I can’t feel my face.

@djdarrellripley

Ooo! The morning weather girl…

Come on baby, give daddy the five day forecast.

@joeldanger

When I see guys with skinny jeans and skin tight T’s on I pretend they are actual giants who woke up tiny and just had nothing else to wear.

@NewDadNotes

Dinosaurs: hey Noah open up its starting to rain out here haha

Noah: [door lock noise]