It has been proven that Australians watch TV more than any other appliance.
2022 just sounds like you lost track while counting
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If you get a call from a telemarketer, give the phone to a child and tell them it’s #Santa.
Any time a child tries to guess my age.
HYPNOTIST: YOU ARE FEELING SLEEPY
ME: kinda safe bet there
HYPNOTIST: YOU WILL DANCE LIKE AN OCTOPUS
ME: again, still no surprises.
ME: wow look at all these hotties
FIREFIGHTER: *rescuing a sixth person from a burning building* stop calling them that
Just now on tube. Man in rush loses coat draped round shoulders in train doors. Woman retrieves it and calls out ‘Batman, your cape.’
“You should only have to tell them once”
– People with no children
Every liquor store should sell lemons, limes, and oranges!!!!!!!!!