5 years ago my dad texted me “i dreamed up the title of a poem last night” and i said “what was the title” and he said “Thoughts Upon Receiving Notice The Frogs Had Cast Off Their Green Skins and Revealed Their True Glorious Selves” and i have thought of that every day since.
I go through the 7 stages of grief just to get to work everyday.
I enjoy long walks on the beach and that thing you just did with that banana.
It was the third time that summer they’d dug up her garden, and Barbara decided it was time to send the bunnies a message.
They say 1 out of every 5 humans is Chinese.
Out of me and my 4 siblings, I’m pretty sure it’s either Carl or Liu Yang.
[commercial]
WOMAN: have u ever wondered what would happen if a car alarm could swim?
NARRATOR: geese
He said it’s canoodle night later, and I thought great, I love lasagna.
Another interesting #factupdates post!
Me: [driving into a parking garage]
Wife: why are you ducking your head?
Me: the ceiling is super low, I don’t want the car to scrape it.
Wife:
Me:
Wife: that’s fair.
apparently this year was written by stephen king
“Friends” ended 10 years ago today, but thanks to television, “me having friends” ended long before that.
