87.5% of marriage is just marriag.
You Might Also Like
Good for him😉🤣😉🤣😉🤣
Why didn’t they just call the Selfie Stick a NarcissiStick?
The entire world is the kid in the back seat asking are we there yet. Politicians are the parent saying “soooo close” and scientists are the honest parent.
Algorithms aren’t omniscient, they’re more like aunties buying presents. “I saw you like rugby. Surely you must play golf, they’re both sports!” “You live in Paris. Would you be interested in traffic updates from Cincinnati, because they’re both cities?”
Boss: I expect total transparency from my staff
Trevor: That’s not always practic—
John the Jellyfish: NO PROBLEM BOSS
Superman: Look, Lois! Up in the sky! It’s a bird! *squints* It’s a plane… *puts on glasses* Oh, it’s a plane.
Lois: CLARK?!?
“How about we go with a gerund, but, like, maybe just half a gerund.”
– How ING Bank got its name
NETFLIX: are your kids still watching?
ME: [clicks Continue Raising My Children]
I have this fun drinking game where you take a drink every time you’d like one because you’re an adult and you can make decisions yourself.
[Takes out scrunchie and shakes out my slicked back ponytail] Take the mugshot again.