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will i understand 28 days later if i haven’t first seen 28 days
My name in Grease would be ChoRizzo.
Get in loser, we are going dumpster diving.
*gets whistled at, but by traffic cop
Me: I really like her. What should I do?
Friend: Give her the time of day.
[Later]
Her: Hey.
Me: It’s 2 PM.
[at the store]
Me: Your powers are weak, old man
Wife: …
Me: The force is strong with this one
Wife: …
Me: Together we can rule the galaxy
Wife: …
Me: Luuuuuuuke, I am your father
Wife: Can you just pick out a damn fan already?
In my next life, I’m coming back as a baby
Them: Why are you late?
Me: I’m not allowed to run over cyclists.
Make me an entire website @funTweeters!
My husband knew I’d never wear slippers because that’s where spiders lay their eggs and he still married me so I think that makes him the weirdo