This family attached a microphone to their 4 year old and the result was adorable ❤️
You Might Also Like
I Just Watched The Simpsons For The First Time. Bart’s Grades Are… Disturbing
BATMAN: I have invested billions in the most state of the art technology to combat crime in this city
GOTHAM: Great! How can we reach you?
BATMAN: Pray for clouds and point this lamp at the sky while I’m beneath the earth in a cave please
7: Are monsters real Mommy?
Me: Yes, they are. They’re in my office and they “reply all” on emails.
the lady that filled the bird feeder was two hours late and chester was starting to get pissed
Today is the one day I don’t get weird looks from people for carrying around my pillow case full of chocolates.
And in other news, a unicorn attack leaves 12 dead, 42 injured, 6 pretty rainbows
Dr. Batty was such a responsible doctor. We could all learn from his example & not give cigarettes to the under-6s
Therapist: What might you say to your husband next time you’re having this communication issue?
Me: I’m sorry your parents never taught you to use your big boy words but that is not my job so get it together
Therapist: No
I’M GONNA OWN THIS YEAR!!!
*buys goldfish
*calls it ‘This Year’.
Hey, boy. Are you a Swiss army knife?
Because you’re a smaller, less effective version of everything I need.
The class where i learned absolutly nothing and dont remember anything
Whoever invented popcorn deserves the Medal of Honor for not panicking after the first 45 seconds.
i just overheard this conversation from my family and i honestly give up jesus christ
sister: the bus driver earlier had sunglasses on + it’s been raining all day
dad:
sister: i wonder why. maybe he was blind?
dad: oh yeah, maybe
[they watch tv in silence]
me: ?????
You can lead a horse to water, but you probably can’t do it as well as Sneaky Gary, the serial horse drowner.
Oldest child: Here are 100 pictures of me as a baby eating oatmeal.
Youngest child: Here are the 7 pictures of me as a child.
If YouTube ever goes down nobody will ever figure out how to tie a tie again.
Mad Max- road rage
Atlas- road page
Highway worker- road wage
Radar gun- road gauge
Dog catcher- road cage
I know things ordinary people don’t know because ordinary people don’t talk to squirrels.
Being the father of teenagers means never trusting the tops of salt shakers ever again.
My favorite female superhero
Why are dirty words only four letters. There should be at least one 19-letter word that’s so filthy you get grounded for a month.
colonel mustard’s first name is dijonathan
Helen Hunt but only when Helen hungry.
Me: look who came by for a little sucky sucky
Vampire: don’t say it like that
*plays air guitar*
*kisses air girlfriend*
Today, I want to talk about white couches and why ignoring the conventional wisdom was a terrible, avoidable mistake, Annie.
2022 be like
In every IKEA there is a magical filing cabinet labeled raccoons, DO NOT OPEN THIS FILING CABINET!
HOW TO ROB A BANK: (1) Walk in and start talking about your study abroad experience. (2) Everyone’s asleep now. Grab the money.
Woman: Please send an ambulance, I’m having contradictions!!
Operator: Ma’am, do you mean ‘contractions’?
Woman: Yes! No!