calf- calves
half – halves
self – selves
wolf – wolves
golf – golves
You Might Also Like
if i was a character in a horror movie and something supernatural was happening i wouldn’t be scared because that stuff isn’t real
If you don’t open your mouth when you yawn, you’re a monster. I’m serious. Let that demon go. You’re freaking everybody out.
Don’t tell me you got problems. This is a serious problem 😠
All those years of school never taught me the most important life lesson. Green gummy bears are strawberry flavored.
Thursday Thought.
When your house haunted but you got nowhere else to go
[Cute Girl]: *in hot tub* Hey baby. Why don’t you come join me?
[Lobster]: No I’m good over here. That’s how my dad died.
25% of parenting is resisting the urge to scream, “Get to the point!”
angel: whatcha making?
god: *plugging a snake into an electrical outlet* eel
No one ever talks about what a flex it is when Yoda just gets tired of answering all of Luke’s questions and dies
Chicks like it when you let out a loud “AWOOGA” when you see her naked
I am woman, watch me fit 94 bottles of shampoo and 15 different body washes on my shower ledge
If we’d just get used to eating bugs now, then they’ll be plenty of food when all those locusts come from that bottomless pit promised to us in Revelations 9:1:3.
I’m not above humming elevator music to end a conversation.
ok wow… unfollowing now. was a big fan of their music but i was not aware they were using it to lure sailors to a watery grave by dashing their ships against the rocky coast of their island
Someone on TikTok asked if people with office jobs just sit at our computers all day and answer emails
Obviously that’s not true
We also have meetings about the emails and then write emails about the meetings
Kids these days, I tell ya
I’m a pretty law abiding citizen, but overweight and out of shape security guards really make me want to test their commitment to the job.
Felix went to the moon, took 5 photos. She went to the bathroom, took 37 photos.
Friday, Friday, all gonna die next Friday. Everybody’s gettin’ ready for the world’s end. Gotta make My mind up: Which souls should I take?
Secret Panel HERE 🤘
i know parents looking like their kids is obvious but the way reese witherspoon hit ctrl c + ctrl v on her daughter is mad
me: i don’t know what to order
waiter: the chef’s special?
me: I’m sure he is
It’s amazing how people will leave you alone if you just commit to faking a British accent all day
We have to ban straws to keep them out of the ocean, because a shark with a mouthful of straws can drain a human of blood in seconds.
My husband listens to me like he doesn’t realize there’s going to be a quiz later.
What a relief. Bring on the nukes
Them: What would you do with a million dollars?
Me: Pay off student loans.
Them: And with the rest?
Me: lol “the rest.”
Nothing says “Proper Retirement Planning” like a garbage can full of losing lottery tickets
The cops say I have to stop trying to fist fight the guy who tries to feed my house letters everyday.
“We’re out of options, I’ll have to use the jetpack,” I said, strapping on the jetpack and ignoring many non-jetpack options still available