what
I got annoyed with a bloke who had a Harley Davidson T Shirt but when I challenged him he could not sing one of his songs. 😉
I challenged a girl in an AC/DC shirt to name any of their songs and she had no answer. Her parents were so embarrassed they just silently pushed her buggy away.
absolutely no reason for a single guy to be in a sunflower field. get out of there pervert
I told a first grade class that I have an identical twin sister.
One of the kids raised his hand and asked, “Do you ever think you might actually be her?”
So hang out with six year olds, get free identity crisis, I guess.
I was waiting to buy a sandwich toaster, when I saw the greatest martial artist ever to come out of Athens walk past. I didn’t know whether to go and get his autograph, or proceed with my purchase.
I was caught between the Breville and the Greek Bruce Lee.
an exceedingly polite asian bespoke tailor told me he got some customers bc i mentioned him. he asked me how im able to communicate the gentlemanly craft of bespoke tailoring online. i told him i insult ppl and challenge them to fight me outside uniqlo.
Growing up, I always thought the Ninja Turtles were far-fetched, but here I am, eating pizza in the sewer and learning karate from a rat.
Took my dog to a new groomer called Doggie Style and the sign on the front door read “This door closed, please enter through back.” Well played, Doggie Style, well played.
Asking the guy on the rowing machine next to me if he wants to sync up and pretend we’re galley slaves on the Nile
Just saw a 10 year anniversary edition of an album I considered “new” and hadn’t listened to yet
Nobody talk to me for 5-10 business days
Good afternoon Sharks,
Today I am asking for $1M for a 7% share of my company Cat Wool.
Basically, I brush cats and then turn the sheddings into wool for super soft clothing perfect for animal lovers or people who don’t have lint brushes.
Diarrhea of a madman
I didn’t mean to gain weight
It happened by snaccident
“What do you call people who drink excessively?”
Me: Friends