@Gorrdano
@CCRuns Me: *lights gorgeous smelling candle*
Him: *puts bacon in the oven*
Me: You win
You Might Also Like
@CCRuns 
@DanMentos [first date that up until now is going extremely well]
date: it’s nice to finally meet a normal guy
me: my dog’s name is jeff
@StarWarsProblms Padmé: Dating is scaring. I just want to find a nice guy who’s not going to murder me.
Anakin: You’ve chosen wisely.
@brunopieroni That show “Catfish” should just be called “People Who Have Never Heard of Google.”
@dadmann_walking there are smart kids. Then there are my kids heating popsicles up in the microwave.
@AnExocticBeach I’m always confused at fancy restaurants. Which spoon do you throw at the screaming toddler?
@ficklenuts Who wants to be my Valentine?
@AbbyHasIssues Guess who went all day without dropping food on her shirt?
Not me, but I’m sure somebody somewhere did.
@XplodingUnicorn We have a house full of chairs and couches, yet my 3-year-old chose to sit on a grocery bag full of bread.
You can’t explain children. You just survive them.
@KatieDeal99 I like to carry binoculars when hiking so that when I make frequent stops it looks like I’m appreciating nature instead of fighting for air