A guy with a ponytail wearing mirrored sunglasses and camouflage pants just checked me out and winked at me. Still got it.

You Might Also Like


(Adobe CEO’s house)

Like the new couch hun?

Update it.

What about the wallpap…


You’re scaring the ki…



Girls hate it when you give them Christmas presents with an implied expectation, like an iron, a food processor, or knee pads.


A kitchen sponge is a better environment for growing bacteria than a petri dish.


6: Mommy where are you putting your cameltoe this year?


6: I like it

Me: It’s mistletoe son


Happy Passive Aggressive day! Don’t worry, I didn’t want you to get me anything anyway. No, it’s fine. Don’t worry about it.


The Indian version of “How I Met Your Mother”is just a single episode called “I Met Her At Our Wedding”.


Me: Hold still. All I need to do is wipe your nose.

Toddler: *dodges the tissue like she’s in the Matrix*


Spent two weeks with my grandmother and now I know why grandpa was a drunk


My boyfriend said it would be nice if once in a while he woke up to breakfast in bed…
I put his bed in the kitchen…