@Marlebean Damn boy! What’s your zodiac sign? Bc I think we should make that Sagittariuu into SagittariUS
Oh you’re a Leo? Le OH ..where are you going?
@WilliamAder A woman at work told me I look younger with my glasses off. I told her she looked younger with my glasses off, too.
You Might Also Like
@Marlebean 
@SCbchbum Deep down, we’re all that one lady in 7-11 with her bathrobe on.
@slimmy_shady She told me she’d do anything for 20 bucks. Guess who just got his Mustang washed.
@KattsDogma Guys! I finally dusted my bedroom! And guess what? I HAVE A NIGHTSTAND!!!
@CulturedRuffian ‘Worcestershire’ sounds like the most awful shire a Hobbit could possibly live.
Hey Ben Carson, at this point in your craziness? Just say you’re Iron Man. What could it hurt?
@ChickenFrecklez When ya leave Twitter it’s called twittercide.
What about Instagram?
Instagramicide? IGicide? Instacide? Gramicide? Instadead? Instagone?
@Aspersioncast What sort of tape measure does the guy from The Guinness Book of Records use to measure the worlds longest tape measure?
@IronBiggie What is love?
You just sang “baby, don’t hurt me.” In your mind didn’t you?
@Everybodys_Mum Me on my way to find a boyfriend before Valentine’s Day…