
this tumblr post deserves to be put in history textbooks
After 5 minutes of staring at grass, I came to the realization that Earth has green hair. That’ll do, brain. That’ll do.
this tumblr post deserves to be put in history textbooks
pet owner’s tip: glue the very tip of your cat’s tail to the center of their back to make a convenient cat-carrying handle.
Conan: Texas recently had 9 earthquakes in a day. But don’t worry: Scientists are hard at work figuring out exactly what God was angry about
Want to be successful? Just go buy a home. 6 years ago. With your parents money. It’s not that complicated.
I love twitter
LEONARDO DA VINCI: *on street corner* eeey girl! gimme a smile, girl! nah, not that big. make it cryptic, girl, like ‘what is she thinking’
There are certain people who assume that I’m intelligent.
These people aren’t aware that I cannot tear off perforated paper.
I’m always Beware #MakesMeCautious
If Usain Bolt ever becomes a zombie we are all screwed.
My husband said I have everything I need so he’s not getting me anything for Christmas. Really? I need Jason Bateman. Work on that.