@Book_Krazy Me: Congrats! I heard you got married again
Her: Sorry I didn’t invite you. It was a small ceremony
Me: Its ok. I’ll go to your next one
You Might Also Like
@Book_Krazy 
@ashmensch *entire building at my work loses power*
*I run all the way to Linda’s office*
Remember when you said light up shoes were a dumb idea?
@KattsDogma Boy, are you a destination wedding? Cuz I can’t come.
@ParkerMolloy Jeff Bezos inches closer to becoming Pitbull
@KentWGraham If it ain’t broke, my children haven’t touched it yet.
@Clanopath Grey Goose and Red Bull, because two sets of wings is better than one.
@bridger_w When I die, please bury me wrapped in a sheet. That way I won’t have to look for one when I become a ghost
@mattZillaaaa A nicer way to tell someone their breath stinks is to say “I’m bored, let’s go brush your teeth!”
@daemonic3 Girlfriend: Are you ready to be a dad?
“I don’t know, how would I know?”
GF: I’m pregnant!
“Hi Pregnant, I’m… OH MY GOD I’M READY”
@thatdentaldude Jehovah’s Witness: Hello, sir. Have you given any thought to the afterlife?
Me: Depends. Are you gonna be there?
Jehovah’s Witness: Why yes-
Me: *slams door*