@trishimal25
@Mom_Overboard Everyone in Canada is really pretty which means I should probably move there
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@Mom_Overboard 
@Jennifergr8 Why do people send an @ just to be nasty. Oh yeah, because they are thick dumb cunts who have no life. Glad I cleared that up.
@TheCatWhisprer They say you should eat 6 small meals a day to lose weight so being an overachiever I have been eating 26 a day.
@RocketRankoon *swivels around in evil chair*
*evil laugh*
*pets evil cat*
*evil cat laughs*
*jumps out of evil chair*
“Holy shit, that cat just laughed!”
@ThRealBallsDeep Is a guy eating peach halves the equivalent of a chick eating a banana?
Asking for a friend…
…but hurry up, I’m almost to the checker
@Aikiwomannc Home buyer: I want to live close to nature!
*wildlife shows up*
Home buyer: Not like that.
@darksidedeb I drive with my hands at ten and two, but they’re crossed.
@Paris__G #FunnyLife Insects
@ozzyunc Welcome to your 40s. Your expensive designer shoes are prescription.
@JesterWuzHere Sex so kinky your foam mattress has to repress the memory.