@ghostkrogh

alladin: do u trust me
jasmine: i’ve only known you for 2 hours
a: so u don’t wanna jump off this rooftop
j: lemme ask my tiger first

You Might Also Like

@daemonic3

The real reason the Mayan civilization collapsed is they never updated their Adobe.

@peachesanscream

You’ve seen nothing until you’ve seen a picture of a pigeon having a job interview to become a pigeon:

@DVSblast

A tragic kissout between police and suspects leaves over 15 innocent bystanders believing in love again

@cjwerleman

I paid $5.99 for The Interview. I now want North Korea to kill me.

@curlycomedy

Thank you for fixing my bends, but why on Earth did you crack my rims?!

@antheanton

You can either clean your home before guests arrive or hand them a tequila shot as soon as they arrive.

Shots it is!

@AndyRichter

Man, those guys in the Cialis commercial sure are charmed by their wives’ approximations of human behavior

@Fred_Delicious

Bruce Willis reaches for his iPhone but accidentally grabs his iPad and screams because he thinks he’s shrunk

@sarousti

Hot tip: Apparently it’s frowned upon to make the sound effect tssst when being blessed by a priest