Amanda Bynes and Lindsay Lohan have a fight to the death. Who will win?


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If you ever come across a bear in the wild, throw a tiny bicycle at him.
Then, just let his circus instincts take care of the rest.


“If you started at 16 and work until you’re 23.
That would give you 10 years of experience.”
Back to school for you My friend!


I am really shocked that there is not a website devoted solely to the most clever Wi-Fi names of all-time.


I like to stop drinking somewhere between “watch this” and “ohhhhhh shit”.


Gym Employee: Thats not how you operate that machine, sir.

Me: *Hanging clothes all over treadmill* But this is how I use it at home.


We now return to ‘CANADIAN SNIPER’

*canadian sniper shoots an enemy*

*canadian sniper yells ‘sorry’ from far away*


*Arrives at the barbers*

“I’d like some highlights please”

*Barber puts on video of old haircuts*


*leaves the kids w/ a new babysitter

*calls to check on the sitter


“Let the bodies hit the floor, let the bodies hit the floor”- John joyfully sings as he walks off with the ‘Caution: wet floor’ sign