If you ever come across a bear in the wild, throw a tiny bicycle at him.
Then, just let his circus instincts take care of the rest.
Amanda Bynes and Lindsay Lohan have a fight to the death. Who will win?
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“If you started at 16 and work until you’re 23.
That would give you 10 years of experience.”
Back to school for you My friend!
I am really shocked that there is not a website devoted solely to the most clever Wi-Fi names of all-time.
I like to stop drinking somewhere between “watch this” and “ohhhhhh shit”.
Gym Employee: Thats not how you operate that machine, sir.
Me: *Hanging clothes all over treadmill* But this is how I use it at home.
We now return to ‘CANADIAN SNIPER’
*canadian sniper shoots an enemy*
*canadian sniper yells ‘sorry’ from far away*
*Arrives at the barbers*
“I’d like some highlights please”
*Barber puts on video of old haircuts*
*leaves the kids w/ a new babysitter
*calls to check on the sitter
“Let the bodies hit the floor, let the bodies hit the floor”- John joyfully sings as he walks off with the ‘Caution: wet floor’ sign
when you’re a gargoyle but also afraid of heights