Longest English word:
Longest Spanish word: ‘GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLL’
[annoyed burglar waking me] you still have a VCR?
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Sometimes all you need,
is 500 million dollars.
white people eradicated entire populations for spices and yet the bay leaf remains a mystery
I just found that there’s such a thing as a cheese shop and now I’m changing my vacation plans.
All it took was a skirt and one strong gust of wind and all of a sudden, my spirit animal is Hello Kitty.
my fav colour is also hitler
Guys are like bears, if you lay very still they’ll paw at you a little bit then give up and go look for food..
One time I accidentally listened to a John Mayer song & spontaneously generated 2 thumb rings before it was over.
My wife is leaving me because of my obsession with ‘Star Wars’.
I said: May divorce be with you…
This married couple was eating dinner, he meant to ask his wife for salt, but What came out was, I hate you stupid Bitch you ruined my life