@ericsshadow
@Brampersandon_ Longest English word:
‘pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosi’Longest Spanish word: ‘GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLL’
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@Brampersandon_ 
@hardasamother Sometimes all you need,
is 500 million dollars.
@spookperson white people eradicated entire populations for spices and yet the bay leaf remains a mystery
@fillthevacuum I just found that there’s such a thing as a cheese shop and now I’m changing my vacation plans.
@abhorrent_wife All it took was a skirt and one strong gust of wind and all of a sudden, my spirit animal is Hello Kitty.
@hurlarious my fav colour is also hitler
@angeliav68 Guys are like bears, if you lay very still they’ll paw at you a little bit then give up and go look for food..
@sfreeze6 One time I accidentally listened to a John Mayer song & spontaneously generated 2 thumb rings before it was over.
@fixyourcompass My wife is leaving me because of my obsession with ‘Star Wars’.
I said: May divorce be with you…
@_Mo_lee_ This married couple was eating dinner, he meant to ask his wife for salt, but What came out was, I hate you stupid Bitch you ruined my life