@SarcasticSadOne

Any movie can be a Christmas movie if you eat 37 sugar cookies while watching.

You Might Also Like

@bazecraze

Guns don’t avoid critical thinking by leaning on tired aphorisms. People do.

@JennyJohnsonHi5

‘Here Comes Honey Boo Boo’ is the reason I always donate money to Planned Parenthood.

@scootergonscoot

mark zuckerberg is so rich that if he gets hit in the face with a cream pie, it is not worth his time to clean it off. he just walks around like that all day

@nyquills

Dumbledore: the mirror of erised shows your deepest desires.

Harry: *tearing up* i’m with my mom

Snape: omg same

@noog

The biggest threat to mankind is aliens somehow receiving transmissions of Xbox Live conversations and deciding to just blow up the planet.

@brunopieroni

We shouldn’t point out other people’s grammar mistakes because one day it will be you’re turn. Yore turn. You are turn. Goddamn it.

@JimmerThatisAll

I’ve been introducing myself as Jim The Chosen One ever since I was named milk monitor in grade 6.

@chillandwoke

I usually base my religious and political beliefs on flyers and pamphlets handed to me on the street.