Anyone know a Minecraft interpreter? I don’t understand my son’s Christmas list.

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In order from least to most stressful:

– code works
– code doesn’t work
– code doesn’t work, don’t know why
– code works, don’t know why


Apparently, saying “Wow, you’ve grown since I last saw you” isn’t deemed socially acceptable when said to adults.


Don’t believe in aliens, huh? Explain how people in the 1800s got on top of those bicycles with the huge front wheels.


[wedding day of the girl that got away]
any reason why these two shouldn’t be married, speak now or forev[sound of a dirt bike approaching]


Shouting “Shotgun” will get you the front seat of a car or a heap of cash if you whisper it to a cashier.


Me: Mistakes my own hair for a spider at least once a day & screams

Also me: [watching Criminal Minds] I could totally be a cop


DATE: what’s your favorite movie?

ME: Se-seven-en

DATE: you mean Se7en? it’s just seven spelled with a 7 instead of a V

ME: *scoffs* you really think the creators of a great movie like Se-seven-en would do something that dumb


scotsman: are yeh thinkin what i’m thinkin?

other scotsman: jab a few pipes in a sheep stomach and play the same note for three hours?

scotsman: aye, laddie, jab a few pipes in a sheep stomach and play the same note for three hours


My 3yo said Cheese is her favorite place. I don’t know if I should be worried that she thinks cheese is a place or sad because it’s not.