@NYC_Blonde

Are people who write “prolly” rather than “probably” just lazy, completely illiterate, or do they actually think that’s a word?

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@huge_mclarge

as an adult I encounter ingrown nose hairs far more often than random quicksand and that’s bullshit

@iamkits

All I said was, Even those starving kids in Africa wouldn’t eat your cooking and my wifes foot became Mayor of my ass on Foursquare.

@Lola_Areola

I’m sick of people not taking me seriously *Throws jester hat down in disgust*

@SonOfCha

Nice tan. I’m guessing your mother is white & your father’s a sweet potato?

@yoyoha

Just heard they’re investigating a slaughterhouse in California for animal cruelty. IT’S A SLAUGHTERHOUSE

@heykarlin

I feel bad for the children of Vegans because no one gets found when their picture’s on the back of unsweetened organic almond milk.