Manslaughter. The sound of a man laughing?
Are you tired of greasy pots and pans? Stubborn kitchen stains? Messy sponges and sprays? Me too. I wish the sun would devour the earth.
You Might Also Like
“PS, I love you” — Me to my PlayStation.
Everyone at Thanksgiving table:
Me: Wait I thought you said bring a side piece
God: Build an ark
God: Animals and shit I dunno
Devil: Bet you can’t trick someone into building an ark
God: Game on.
Can scientists please stop calculating pi to a million decimal places and instead get working on an instant hangover cure.
“Great. Like the short arms thing wasn’t humiliating enough.”
An old white man in a beard bestowing gifts from the sky? Please.
a perfect interaction just happened: a man at a bar came up to me and my friends and asked what we all did and I said I was a journalist and he said “oh like in spiderman”
According to customer service I can not bring sexy back…
Without the receipt, apparently.