girls have four moods: famine, pestilence, war, death
“As a creative person I’m often asked where I get my ideas.” Yeah. As a creative person you often imagine people doing that but they don’t.
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Why yall taking long at Atm? yall
launching missiles or downloading
Space ships from NASA?
Boy: *Kissing girl on couch* You wanna take this upstairs?
Girl: Hehe sure baby
Boy: Sweet! Grab the other end, I can’t carry it by myself
‘Worcestershire’ sounds like the most awful shire a Hobbit could possibly live.
Marge is going for a more natural hairstyle
[God creating the raccoon]
God: make it cute with a lil mask
Angel: haha aw okay
God: also make it eat trash
Netflix and explain what’s happening and who that guy is?
[first day birdwatching]
is that a penguin? *moments later* is that a penguin?
Amazon Prime: Free 2-Day shipping
Amazon Subprime: Loads package into trebuchet and shoots it in the general direction of your house
Amazon PrimePrime: Lets you live in the warehouse
My 18yo just gave me access to his private Twitter account. I’m not sure if I’m mortified or proud. I need 15 minutes and the Urban Dictionary.