Mermaid: I lay the eggs
Merman: and I fertilize them
Meredith: I’m Edith, I like to watch
Asking me for advice is like asking broccoli to fix your bicycle.
You Might Also Like
if the sun is such a cool and great star then why do all the other stars leave when it shows up
It’s illegal to play pop music on a hot air balloon.
You can even hide a dead body in Terms & Conditions, No one will ever know.
When a cop tells you to “spread ’em” he is not flirting. I know this now.
If Usher ever worked in a theater, his nametag could be “Usher Usher.” I’m sorry for that joke but I’m actually addicted to the send button.
I am all good here, 😂😉
How did girls text before emojis?
Hey I can’t wait to see you tonight! PARTY HAT MARTINI GLASS NOISEMAKER BEER MUG CAT DOG SUNGLASSES POOP
Found my cat reading To Kill A Mockingbird. I told him that it didn’t actually involve killing birds, but he said he liked courtroom dramas.
My family is sound asleep on this early Saturday morning
*Starts to vacuum