Today. I. Realized. That. Typing. Like. This. Doesn’t. Make. Your. Point. Stronger. It. Makes. You. Look. Like. Your. Computer. Has. Asthma
Beauty and the Beast is my favorite movie about how beauty is only skin deep. What’s important is that you’re rich & you have a giant castle
You Might Also Like
Father, pardon, excuse, exonerate, absolve, acquit, forgive me, for I have synonymed.
My favorite pastime is roasting marshmallows over the bridges I burn.
What’s your answer?!
*whispers into microphone*
Please help me, I don’t even know these people
wow, soft hands! u must’ve never worked a day in ur life
[coming off a 9 hour shift at the Vaseline factory] “u dont know me.”
My spirit animal is an upturned turtle.
*Michael Cera presses too hard with a crayon and breaks his wrist*
True embarrassment lies within your first email address
Appears Hallmark doesn’t make a card for Condolences to a hot widow, for the untimely death of her elderly husband, under somewhat suspicious circumstances, and who may in fact be a person of interest.
I’m the guy that slams on his horn in traffic and fake looks behind me to see who’s doing it.