*My 9YO wants you to RT*
Broccoli and carrot are driving down the street and get a flat tire.
Broccoli: We’ll have to use asparagus.
Before coffee: Annoyed by everything.
After coffee: Annoyed by everything but with the energy to complain about it.
You Might Also Like
It turns out the answer to my problems wasn’t at the bottom of this pint of ice cream, but the important thing is that I tried.
*changes entire paper to past tense to try to increase the page count*
My preschooler talks a lot of trash when we play Chutes and Ladders for someone who needs help counting his spaces.
Twitter is composed of all the kids who used to giggle in sex ed
A long time ago, I learned the importance of just being myself. I think the world would be a better place if everyone would just be myself.
Coworker: Do you ever think about work at home?
Me: I don’t even think about work at work.
My neighbors still have their Christmas wreath on the door. I was gonna knock to complain, but I don’t like confrontation so I just stole it.
My mother had a cure for slouching. I still flinch when there’s movement in my periphery, but I’ve got posture like a Marine.