@Jeffwni
@GuyEndoreKaiser Why did the Fresh Prince have to take a cab anyways? How shitty was that family that no one would pick him up from the airport?
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@GuyEndoreKaiser 
@TheTweetOfGod “Miley Cyrus: ‘Society Wants to Shut Me Down'”. Not down, Miley. Up.
@5hael It’s so easy getting women wet, it’s refilling my bucket back up with water quickly enough I find challenging.
@ComicBookNOW My favorite female superhero
@kidnappedagain Him: you know, a baby deliverer…
Me: you mean my OBGYN or the stork?
@_Mo_lee_ If you eat a pregnant girls food, you’re required to have the baby for her
@elonmusk Apparently, some customs agencies are saying they won’t allow shipment of anything called a “Flamethrower”. To solve this, we are renaming it “Not a Flamethrower”.
@Nawvernburd With hindsight, answering the door with one unshaven leg, one dripping with blood & radioheads “creep” blaring out probably didn’t help.
@REnlightenment Unless you’ve studied Nazism at a Nazi university and you’ve read Mein Kampf (in German), your criticism of Nazism isn’t valid
-Nobody ever
@SomeChrisTweets Foal me once, I have a baby horse. Foal me twice, no one needs this many baby horses. Foal me thrice, please stop. I have no room for them.