Boy if these walls could talk I’d be like “HOLY SHIT TALKING WALLS”

You Might Also Like


“Sorry I didn’t reply to your email Terry, a wolf ripped my hands off… Oh these? Um, I got new hands? Gotta go!”


I hate when people use words without knowing the meaning…gives me a huge hysterectomy on the side of my head.


Bae: Are you coming over?
Me: Yes, I’m coming over.
– Me and Bae having CB Radio sex


There’s no “u” in employee. You’re fired.


Pro tip: If he pretends he can’t hear you, talk some shit about his mother.


I love when people tell me they’ll “see me in hell” as if I’m not gonna weasel my way out of those plans too.


‘Hello Microsoft support, what’s the nature of the problem?’
‘Oh hello again Mr Connery. Spreadsheet issues?’


*At demonstration

*grabs megaphone – stands on car



A new report claims 90% of fish could be wiped out in a mass extinction. On the plus side – it will make it much easier to find Nemo.


Can’t leave this facebook group because someone has raccoons living under their bathtub and now I’m invested in how it plays out