@MomWithNoPlan
@CulturedRuffian “I’m on my way.” -People who haven’t even left the house yet.
You Might Also Like
@CulturedRuffian 
@SortaBad Last month my mom asked what “af” meant and I said it meant “like REALLY something” without saying what it stood for
@AnkCoupleTO “I’m so sorry”
“No, I’m really sorry”
“No, I’m even sorrier than you”
“No, I’m the sorriest ever!”
*mutual hug*
-Canadian rap battle
@DulciePlaid When I left for work this morning, the dog begged me to stay and the cat handed me my keys.
@Cheeseboy22 One thing you learn how to quickly do as a parent is to pretend to not have any money when you walk by vending machines.
@Duke1173 As I get older and continue to meet new people… I realize that swallowing should be more of a thing.
@RadWizzy [runs thru the funeral chasing a bagpipe player]
“Stop hurting that octopus!”
@flashember [1st Day after wildebeests take over]
I’m safe in my house
[Day 7]
Thought I heard clattering
[Day 21]
THEY CAN OPEN DOORS WITH THEIR HOOVES
@JasonMan811 My dad is in Hawaii for travel…
@BrdnHatesYou *beats arachnophobia*
*trips over child dressed as Spider-Man*
*fears spiders again*