By the time you feel a butterfly under your heel, it’s already dead.
Consider it relationship advice.

You Might Also Like


Dear stupid people, there’s a thin line between the upper and lower lip. Seal it !!


Is it wrong when your therapist invites other therapists to your session, wine is flowing, appetizers are served, and he says to you, begin?


*shows up to marathon with perfect hair* Yeah I’ve been conditioning a lot for this race


[woken up by barking]
wife: oh god it’s an intruder!
me: sssshhh [listens carefully] no, it’s definitely a dog


Every time I text this guy, he replies with “Sorry, I’m driving.” It’s been a few days. I’m guessing he’s probably made it to Mexico by now.



“Sir, do you believe Jesus died for your sins?”
“Why not?”
“He died like 2000 years ago.”
“I’m 46. Do the math.”


Why do people always talk in absolutes? I would never do that. It’s the worst.