can’t help feeling like there’s already a name for this

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On my 5 year old’s report card it said, “He is encouraged to ask more questions”.



Definition of Rap Songs: Anything that is too stupid to be spoken is sung.


How many Happy Meals do you need to eat before they start to work? I’ve just had six and I feel terrible.


A really fat friend sat on her cat, long story short – now I can add search & rescue, proctologist and vet to my resume.


I hate people who say ‘age is just a number’… Age is clearly a word.


ghost of christmas past but it’s just the clothes that used to fit before the pandemic


Me: How are you doing? Is our date starting to feel a bit awkward?

Her: Yeah, a little…

Me: I was talking to my mom!

Mom: No, I’m fine.


The year is 1981. Everybody’s working for the weekend.

2044: the weekend becomes sentient.

2048: Everybody’s working for the weekend.