Cathy on FB is “feeling annoyed” and is asking why people even own cell phones if they’re not gonna answer.

Can I tell her? Pleeease.

You Might Also Like


ME: Table…table doesn’t look great
JESUS: Through me you will have eternal life
ME: ok cool but you SPECIFICALLY said you were a carpenter


I peel my underwear off as you watch me & then hand it to you,


You know what’s coming next..

It’s your turn to do the laundry


My dad worked on a car assembly line for 40 years. He retired years ago but still struggles with post pneumatic press disorder.


I don’t normally shit with the door open but I don’t want to miss the in flight movie


OWNER: The museum’s ready?
ME: All the artichokes are in place
OWNER: Ha, you mean artifacts
[I slam the door shut]
ME: U cannot go in there


I hate how every single day my ex wife just keeps waking up!


A small child could swim through the veins of a blue whale’s heart. Let’s make this happen.


I accidentally texted my wife with voice recognition…while playing the trombone


me: can i withdraw a million dollars

banker: from which account

me: like whoever has the most