Cops call their dogs K-9 because if they call K-10,
then it’s a cat.

You Might Also Like


6YO said she’ll never be able to appreciate winter, cause snow on the bushes reminds her of cauliflower


Officer, why do you say “full body cavity search” like it’s a bad thing?


When a waiter sees my disability and asks the person I’m with what I want to eat, I respond “Our telepathy is a bit off. You should ask me.”


Zookeeper: we suspect one of you stole a giraffe

Zoo employee 1: oh no

Zoo employee 2: oh no

Me: [knitting a tremendously long scarf] oh no


I have a bumper sticker that says “Honk if you think I’m sexy!” Then I just sit at green lights until I feel better about myself!


He said ‘send nudes’ and my first thought was ‘ugh, I just sat down.’


Inventor of raisins: “What do you like about grapes”
me: the juice part, the freshness
Inventor: right but what if they had neither


I once watched two guys arguing in sign language.

Either that, or they were both really bad at martial arts.