what do you mean I never take you anywhere we just took a 365 day trip around the sun
Buy a gun from a guy off the streets.
As soon as he sells it to you, point it at him & get your $$ back.
You Might Also Like
ghost of christmas past but it’s just the clothes that used to fit before the pandemic
When my Internet is down for more than 2 minutes, I assume Western civilization has collapsed so I start looting.
Me: *overthinking a million different scenarios
*one of those scenarios turns out to be true
Me: I KNEW IT!
Thank you to whoever has been keeping Keanu Reeves busy with a laser pointer for the last 10 years.
URGENT! IF MY BOSS ASKS YOU IF IT’S REALLY “NATIONAL THROW YOUR COFFEE AT YOUR BOSS DAY” PLEASE SAY YES.
*watching a cop walk past during drug deal*
ok relax, just be cool.. “bonjour mademoiselle how much of le methamphetamine dost thou fancy”
Damn girl, are you a maple tree? Cause I would tap that, and you have an impressive root structure which is where this metaphor falls apart.
Lame! I was tricked into watching PS, I Love You! It’s definitely NOT about a guy that marries his PlayStation.
It has come to my attention that some of you don’t know my English teacher in high school was my own father, on the first day of classes he said “I want you all to know I’m only sleeping with one (1) of your mothers” this is my villain origin story