@timdonakowski
@BringDaNoyz Remember when the biggest problem we faced was Gangnam Style
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@BringDaNoyz 
@patsatweetin What if T-Rexes really had long boneless tentacle arms and we didn’t know because we can only find bones?
@daemonic3 [robbing Whole Foods]
“All the cash in a bag NOW!”
100% organic reusable bag ok?
“Yes!”
[puts half the cash] I had to charge for the bag
@rickygervais The people who shout the loudest about their all powerful God protecting them & delivering them from any evil, also own a gun, just in case.
@Aikiwomannc We go together like unprotected eyes and a lab accident.
@DanMentos [first date]
me: they know me here
date: *reading sign on wall* “No Puppetry”?
me (proudly): I’m the reason they have that
@GrahamOfTheDead The man who invented PIN numbers and ATM machines has died.
May he RIP in peace.
@galiamango I enjoy quaint, old-fashioned customs like being nice to people.
@rmfnord Bad enough that literally no one showed up for my Super Bowl party today, but now I can’t even find the game on tv to watch.
@Vice_Queen I’m Indian but not “able to read sanskrit” Indian so slow down there Raj, aside from the heart eye emojis I have no idea wtf your DM means.