“Dad, what caused the Great Fire of London?”
[googles but can’t get wifi] Well son, that’s when Bach dropped the most fire mixtape of 1666
Dad: I’m so hungry.
Me: Hi, so hungry I’m son!
*Dad turns head very slowly*
[camera cuts to Dad patting down pile of dirt with shovel]
You Might Also Like
My toddler’s plan for today is to ‘throw snowballs at all the peoples’ so I’m really looking forward to picking her up from daycare later
My mom used to feed me soap as a reward for saying bad words.
FUN PRANK: Replace signs for Red Cross Blood Drive line with “iPhone 6 in Stock” and watch the shenanigans ensue.
Basketball games are very squeaky.
Not to brag, but a news anchor started following me today. She recognizes a disaster when she sees one.
*waits for you to fall asleep*
*rolls out from under your bed*
*moisturizes your knees and elbows*
*Brings Ouija board to Thanksgiving
Ouija: G O B B L E
A drivers license is basically just a selfie with way too much info.
If you blast Foreigner’s “I Want To Know What Love Is”, the naked old guys in the gym locker room cover up pretty damn quick.