Forgot to use a coupon my wife gave me so now I have to hide it like it’s a dead body.
“Dad this is serious I’m in jail”
Hi serious this is dad
“Dad! Be serious! Wait NO!”
HI SERIOUS THIS IS SERIOUS!
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A Trojan ball of yarn shows up at the cat lady’s house and 40 squirrels come running out.
Is Lent nearly over? I don’t know how much longer I can hold my breath.
You spin me right round, baby, right round…
~ my Roomba at night probably
People on social media will threaten murder in the comment section of a cake recipe.
DATE: …so that’s how I ended up at Harvard Law!
ME: Sometimes I make a fruit salad in my mouth by biting into different kinds of fruit LOL
Watching Finding Dory & her parents call her “cupcake.” How do they know what that is?
This movie doesn’t seem very realistic, you guys.
GOD: What do you think?
ANGEL: You’re tired. Why don’t we try making the birds tomorrow.
Kids today will never know the joy of being selected to go outside to dust the erasers.
*taps on your head*
“Is this think on?”