@TheRolo

“Dad this is serious I’m in jail”

Hi serious this is dad

“Dad! Be serious! Wait NO!”

HI SERIOUS THIS IS SERIOUS!

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@TheCatWhisprer

Forgot to use a coupon my wife gave me so now I have to hide it like it’s a dead body.

@2tickytacky

A Trojan ball of yarn shows up at the cat lady’s house and 40 squirrels come running out.

@WheelTod

Is Lent nearly over? I don’t know how much longer I can hold my breath.

@thevickster_sa

You spin me right round, baby, right round…

~ my Roomba at night probably

@SSparklesDaily

People on social media will threaten murder in the comment section of a cake recipe.

@chimneyspotter

DATE: …so that’s how I ended up at Harvard Law!
ME: Sometimes I make a fruit salad in my mouth by biting into different kinds of fruit LOL

@thenoahkinsey

Watching Finding Dory & her parents call her “cupcake.” How do they know what that is?

This movie doesn’t seem very realistic, you guys.

@UncleDuke1969

[Day 5]

GOD: What do you think?

ANGEL: You’re tired. Why don’t we try making the birds tomorrow.

@

Kids today will never know the joy of being selected to go outside to dust the erasers.