I get it, McFlurry machine. I don’t work when I’m at work either.
dads be like “go help your mother” bro go help your wife
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Definition of Rap Songs: Anything that is too stupid to be spoken is sung.
The story of George Washington chopping down the cherry tree is my favorite tale of honesty, integrity, and giving a child an ax
I’m opening a healthy alternative all egg-white omelet breakfast joint.
I really think my “Whites Only!” restaurant idea will be a hit!
Hell is probably just thousands of tourists trying to take pictures of you walking a cat.
A local business in my town has an open carry discount. As in, you show them a gun to save money. Doesn’t that discount apply everywhere?
Had a spot of bother earlier.
I’m so much like a noodle when I shower. sit in hot water for 7-8 minutes and become soft, squishy, and delicious afterwards
Golf Tip: Be sure and yell “FORE” before throwing your golf club at a jogger.
My car’s GPS has learned to say “Your other left.”