I told my DAD to embrace his mistakes. he cried. then he hugged My brother & me.
Damn girl, are you an old ATM touchscreen? ‘Cause I’m pushing ALL the wrong buttons.
You Might Also Like
A heart-shaped pizza just means less pizza and that’s not a sacrifice I’m willing to make for love.
5: I cleaned my room.
Me: Great! Do you feel good? Sometimes it makes me feel good when I clean something.
5: No. Next time you can do it.
Donner? Party of 87? Your table is ready.
An egg with 28 followers says I’m not funny. So if you need me, I’ll just be in the kitchen making an omelette.
A black shape emerges from your attic; all you can see are claws. You’ve made $4000 in 30 minutes working from home, but at what cost?
*tightens straps on electric chair*
Any last words?
-I think male oysters should be called boysters
Omg will someone throw the damn switch
Please stop inventing new slang words so quickly. I’m having trouble not becoming my grandmother.
Yesterday I watched a YouTube tutorial on how to install a chandelier.
Today I’m watching a YouTube tutorial on how to clean up after a chandelier fire.
The only difference between you and Harry Potter is that his magic wand actually works OOOOHHH BURRRRN