@AmberTozer
@geniusindisgize My typo game is string.
You Might Also Like
@geniusindisgize 
@meganamram What do we want? A 2016 calendar! When do we want it? Late 2015!
@kingofcreame what did president abe lincoln call his journal?
…his lincoln logs
@BuckyIsotope Gordon Ramsay walks into my basement. YOU CALL THIS METH? I WOULDN’T LET MY DOG SMOKE THIS. *smashes beakers* YOU DONKEY *massive explosion*
@markydoodoo There was a fire at the Yankee Candle store. 8 killed. 19 injured. 1200 soothed.
@Ygrene grandpa: you kids don’t know how tough life was back when-
me: grandpa if you ate a single Flamin’ Hot Cheeto you would die immediately please check your tone
@iwearaonesie [eating dinner]
wife
me
wife
me [wearing 8 Burger King crowns] If they didn’t want you to take more than one there’d be a sign
wife
me
wife
@EllaZee5 me: you don’t listen to a thing I say, I’m leaving you
bf: haha I know right
@3sunzzz [hotel fire alarm]
M: *in pjs* How did people get dressed and outside so quickly?
H: It’s 10am, they were already dressed.
M: impressive
@trevso_electric Homosexuality is found in over 450 species. Homophobia is only found in two. Help us get rid of the Ecuadorian fag-hating spider 🙁