@Dawn_M_

Dating Tips
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.

Please. I am 36 and live with 2 guinea pigs.

You Might Also Like

@Jake_Vig

George Clooney and Brad Pitt fall in love and rob casinos together.

#ExplainAFilmPlotBadly

@donni

Outside of a dog, a book is a man’s best friend. Inside of a dog, though, it’s every man for himself

@o__0Dev

My weight loss goal is to not care about the crumbs at the bottom of a Pringles can.

@AndrewChamings

In a coffee shop ask the person next to you to watch your laptop, but don’t leave. Put on netflix and binge spongebob with your new pal.

@yenniwhite

I successfully hid chocolate chip cookies from my children, making today’s parenting score:

Kids: 43,290
Mom: 1

@junejuly12

Burning bridges was a lot easier when 7 out of 10 people had lighters in their pockets.

@mrjohndarby

Don’t forget to hug your friends. They might be hiding a burrito from you, so get a good feel

@TitansHomer

Tell your wife her butt looks big in those jeans.

Live a little.

@MumInBits

Took my twins to their swim class and the coach showed them how to float on their backs then asked if they had any questions. My boy twin asked if there was any cake and I think it was a fair question

@behindyourback

we’re a divided nation, conflicting on class, ideology, creed, and yet there is one thing we can come all together on, no matter what: younger brothers play Luigi