@thedad Sometimes I look at my kid and think “I made this!” and other times I look at him and think “I made this?”
@Elizasoul80 Does anyone ever put a chip with too much dip on it into their mouth, then shove a second chip in there to even out the chip to dip ratio?
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@thedad 
@JennyJohnsonHi5 Not sure video Instagram is a good idea. I’ve never looked at a picture of someone’s dinner and thought, “If only I could hear this.”
@NYorNothing I’m happy my date didn’t snoop in my medicine cabinet but sad I spent an hour setting up 40 ping pong balls in there for nothing
@ObscureGent [moments before death with my life flashing before my eyes]
Me: Wow, that’s a lot of cat gifs.
@AsclepiasRosa It’s only Canoodling if it’s with an actual Canadian.
Otherwise it’s just store brand noodling.
@OneFunnyMummy How much for the angry lawn gnome?
That’s my toddler.
@TitaniumToplass *casually walks into a crowded Sushi Restaurant wearing a dolphin costume* *suddenly stops, looks horrified, & backs slowly out the door*
@ashmensch *steps on Lego*
*stumbles backwards and trips over more Legos*
*throws all Legos away*
*Grandparents buy more Legos for Christmas*
@weinerdog4life I’m gonna hug you in the face with this brick.
@Togglelogl_babe My dog eats his puke and dirty tissues… but I point him to a mushroom I dropped and he gives me the “what is this shit” look.