@Shariv67 “You know how when birds fly in a V formation one side is always longer?”
“Yeah. Why is that?”
“There are more birds on that side.”
@Jenny4ashley Drop a ring pop in front of him. If he picks it up and hands it back to you… Congratulations! You’re engaged.
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@Shariv67 
@DionneMcNutt A boy at church was asked if he knew what the resurrection was. “Yes, and if it lasts more than 4 hours you’re supposed to see a doctor.”
@suecorvette why does saying their name 3x work for Bloody Mary and not for Brad Pitt?
@daemonic3 It is said the population of sheep in New Zealand is 60 Million.
How did they stay awake to figure THAT one out?
@torrami My favorite thing about single people is how they champion being single till they like someone then they transform into a hypocritcalpotamus
@WilliamAder How Jesus was named:
Mary: Joseph, I’m having a baby.
Joseph: JESUS CHRIST!
@AllTheUglyTruth Made the decision that I’m done having kids. Yet every morning I wake up and there they are asking me for breakfast.
@Storminika The only reason I watch political speeches is cause I’m hoping there’s gonna be a sniper.
@AndyAsAdjective Your an idiot.
-You’re.
What?
-You’re not your.
But I said it. I didn’t type it. We’re talking.
-Yeah but I heard the typo.
You’re an idiot.
@goulcher can’t stop thinking about people that first ate mushrooms they found and just had to go through trial and error of like, this one tastes like beef, this one killed Brian immediately and this one makes you see God for a week