eating lightbulbs and setting your own house ablaze are rare but serious side effects of this medication. contact your doctor if this occurs.
You Might Also Like
Castro: I will not die until America is destroyed
Trump: I’m gonna be the president
Castro: well then
Things I have learned by sliding across the hood of my car:
Either I weigh more than Bo Duke, or they just don’t make em like they used to.
If a satellite dish zaps your friend and turns them into chips and 2 sliders….
Would you eat them?🤣🤣🤣
If you go to jail for tax evasion, you are living off taxes for not paying taxes.
sliding into dms like
Who you are when a wasp gets too close to you is the real you.
I wish I could veto my bills.
I locked myself out of my office twice already today. I guess Mercury definitely in rubbermaid.
My run for political office would be short but filled with food eating competitions.
A haunted house but it’s just me walking from room to room to see the mass destruction that occurred when I left my kids alone for 5 min to take a shower.
Maybe Boeing should make their planes out of Legos. They seem to stick together better than whatever they’re using
I’ve only been eating 6 spiders instead of 8 every year so I’ll have plenty for retirement.
iPhone X
What idiot called it a rhyme book & not rapping paper
I didn’t say you were ugly, I just said you were facially challenged.
Can you cross-breed tropical birds? I want to try, but I’ve got nothing toucan-parrot-too.
Sorry I’m late. I was standing in front of the cooler staring at names on Coca Cola bottles for 10 mins realizing how many people I dislike.
[giving best man speech] can I say something without everybody getting mad
I’d be fine with a ghost in the house if the object it moved around was the vacuum.
I’ve had like 6 red bulls, so of course I’m vacuuming the front yard.
How do I feel about your goatee? I shave every part of my legs except the knees, how do you feel about that?
Do people who eat super-crunchy peanut butter know about peanuts?
Not everyone was Kung foo fighting
I was just trying to get out of my sports bra
Met Office warns snow could cut off rural communities from the rest of the UK, coming as huge relief to people living in rural communities.
Sorry for releasing thousands of shrieking bats at your wedding. Sometimes I don’t know what to do with my hands.
Why isn’t Missouri’s state motto “Missouri loves company” ???
COWORKER: Wanna come to my NYE party?!
ME: Aww… I would, but I already have plans.
MORGAN FREEMAN: He did not have plans.
The chances of you being killed by a chinchilla are low, but never zero
When you do drugs, you’re also doing all the drugs that those drugs have done.
Imagine if your dad was a Minotaur and your mom was a Mermaid and you got the human half of both and now you’re just some guy