Exercise makes you look better naked. But so does whiskey, it’s your choice.

You Might Also Like


I practice safe drinking by uninstalling the Amazon App from my phone before I start


Why do people knock on a locked public restroom door? And what is the person inside to say? “who is it?”


Put your family down and pay attention to your phone.


You can’t touch this.
You can’t touch this.
You can’t touch this.
You can’t touch this.

Lyrics to a beloved 90s hit, or parent to an over-curious toddler? The world may never know.


After years of beta testing, my body is ready to launch OS X Cougar.


[checking into a hotel]

Front desk employee: Thank you ma’am, we’ll make up a room for you right away

Me: aren’t… aren’t there real rooms here


“Hope you don’t mind, I just like to smoke a little after sex” I say tossing the entire body of a salmon over a charcoal pit


if you love someone, set them free; now you don’t have to buy anything for Valentine’s Day


If my company really wanted us to move during a fire drill, they’d lose the alarm and just announce that there’s free food by the stairs.