Back in my day we had another word for selfie sticks, we called them friends.
For the record when you are “freezing” I never need to feel your ice cold hands, I believe you
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Since when is a sweater vest not business casual?
Work is telling me I can’t wear them anymore unless I have a shirt underneath.
You know you’re a mover & a shaker when HR rewrites the dress code for you.
Whatever Anita, those tear-away pants looked fabulous on me.
Hey, people “liking” Walmart on Facebook – you OK?
Cop: First name please…
Cop: Last name…
Cop: You’re Frida Gomam?
Cop: Nice, nice
Push me aside, but I will come back. Hide me, but I will always emerge.
I AM POWER.
I AM RESILIENCE.
I AM A BRA STRAP.
I hope you never have to experience the loss of a child. Lotta paperwork.
Me: How was school?
Toddler: Candice has a different mom.
Me [pours two glasses of wine]: Go on.
One day the mailman is going to murder my whole family and my dog will be like “Ha. Who needs to quit yapping and go lay down now?”
FINALS TIP: Create a reward system to help you study. For example, if you spend 1 hour studying, reward yourself with 72 hours of Netflix.