*grabs your ankle from a storm sewer* if your barbie doll needs a hula hoop use an onion ring
Found my missing cardigan when my sister posted a FB pic of her wearing it.
You Might Also Like
Let’s do something we both know we’ll regret in the morning. Let’s order KFC for dinner.
My iPod can hold over 3,000 songs, or one voicemail from my mom..
[gets found guilty of murder]
[sentenced to 3 years of listening to Pitbull on repeat]
[gets sentence reduced to lethal injection]
*Hamburglar returns home with bag of hamburgers*
*his wife, holding a crying baby, slaps the bag out of his hands*
“WE NEED MONEY, DAMMIT!”
*hears Siren’s song*
*walks in a trance ten miles*
*breaks window to donut shop*
I’m here, Mistress.
Black rotten roses & run over kittens
Teeth falling out & a test is unwritten
Naked in public becoming a meme
The only entities which will survive a nuclear holocaust will be the cockroaches and a book packed by Flipkart.
If you try to teach me a lesson I will flunk on purpose, how dare you
When one door closes another one opens. I should really get this cabinet fixed.