MORGAN FREEMAN: there are 7 deadly sins: Pride, greed, envy, lust, wrath and gl– [sees victim wearing crocs] There are 8 dea
From what I can piece together, this Pitbull character enjoys “partying”
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Kids are the worst CIA agents. I KNOW WATERBOARDING SUCKS KATIE BUT YOU CAN’T TELL THE TALIBAN EVERYTHING FOR A CAPRI SUN YOU IDIOT
it’s not abuse if the substance likes it.
ME: I’ve brought you a house-warming present
ESKIMO: You idiot
*viking dad at a funeral*
I don’t know throw a burning stick at it or something we don’t waste arrows in this family what you think I’m made of arrows
He looks so natural.
Ya, but he looks a little stiff.
*raises from the dead*
“That’s what… *gargle* …she said.”
*goes into Lowe’s for a can of paint*
*leaves with $200 worth of Girl Scout cookies*
My husband said he bought the toupée for me, but then got upset when I put it on. I dont get men.
i actually have good reason to shoot the messenger. for one, i do NOT like what he’s telling me
I’ll give up my thesaurus when you pry it from my frigid, frosty, frozen, cadaverous, lifeless, stiff, defunct extremities.