Ghost sightings are stupid. same with ufos and bigfoot. try spotting something people will actually believe. run into your buddy at the store

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Funeral director: Ma’am, your husband was adamant in his wish to list his favorite breakfast cereals ranked by prize quality


The inventor of inappropriate innuendo has died
His family are taking it really hard


I can tell Spring is almost here because I’m on the verge of wanting to kill myself but I’d also like to plant some bulbs.


The year is 2157, our world is much like the one in that futuristic movie starring Tom Cruise.
No, the other one.
No, the other one.
No, the


Having no tattoos in 2014, is like having tattoos in 1967.


I just opened an email from the vet wishing my dog a happy birthday.

I replied asking them to call her because she can’t read.


Pretty insulting when you wake up in a bathtub of ice and they left all your organs.


WIFE: I can’t take your immaturity. Sign these divorce papers




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absolutely disgusting that we as a society are still okay with people making hats out of cowboys